Love Language Number One

Love Language Number One: Quality Time.....In my opinion, the most dangerous of all.

I had been fighting with my ex-girlfriend, Amy, about the time and energy she put into her other male friends. It was an on-going battle that started from almost day one. Interestingly enough it has been an on-going battle my whole life.

Immediately, most of you would attribute that to jealousy, or low self-esteem, or any other label you can put on it so you can categorize it, go on with your day and sleep well tonight. For years I have fought that idea. I have fought with counselors and therapists. They even tried to convince me that it was some childhood incident, or watching my parents...none of which I could relate.

After every argument with Amy, I would honestly search myself and try to find why I am the way I am. I didn't want to live like that. It was painful. It was ruining my relationship. The only thing that kept them together was that when we had our alone time, things were perfect.

Sunday, Amy called her ex-boyfriend...no not me...the one before me. This guy Eugene that she dated for five years. I was with her and so I dealt with it. It was hard and as the conversation went on, I began to get impatient. After that conversation, I was okay. We did break up that day. It was only mildy related to the phone call. It was more so the content of the phone conversation, which I won't get into here.

Amy and I decided to keep open lines of communication in case we could work out our "issues". Mine of which were of course labeled as jealousy, trust, and low-self esteem.

She told me the next day, Monday, that she had called Eugene again and they talked about some other things. I could feel myself getting angry. What I realized that made me the most upset, was that Amy and I were in the middle of a text conversation. The conversation stopped. I tried to tell her goodnight in between that time, but no response. 40 minutes later, she tried to call me. I had been put on hold so she could talk with Eugene.

Today, I had an epiphany. The reason I get so upset is because my first love language is Quality Time together. I judge how much someone else loves me by the amount of Quality Time they spend with me. I further that by judging the amount of time they spend with others.

The things we discover when it's too late....

Just a thought for those of you that have had people label you as something that you really insist you are not.

"The things that make us angry, may very well be the same thing that drives us to love." -Senica Gonzalez